The Beginning of Morgenrot: Why I'm Writing This Book

When I first decided to write about my experience with anxiety, I didn't know if I would ever share it publicly. The journey from that first panic attack in the Odenwald forest to where I am today has been transformative, and writing about it has been equally transformative.

Why Share This Story?

This isn't just a personal memoir—it's a bridge between scientific understanding and lived experience. As a scientist, I've spent years studying complex systems, from cosmic phenomena to molecular biology. But when anxiety struck, I found myself facing a system I didn't understand: my own mind.

Morgenrot (German for "dawn" or "morning red") represents that moment when darkness begins to give way to light. It's the transition from night to day, from panic to peace, from feeling trapped to finding freedom.

The Science Behind the Story

What makes this book unique is its foundation in scientific evidence. Every strategy, every insight, every moment of understanding is grounded in what we know about how the brain works, how anxiety manifests, and how we can rewire our responses.

But science alone isn't enough. It's the combination of scientific knowledge with raw determination—what I call "epic determination"—that creates real change.

What You'll Find in These Pages

• Personal testimony of panic attacks, fear, and recovery
• Scientific explanations of what's happening in your brain
• Practical strategies backed by research
• Hope that recovery is possible, even when it feels impossible

The Writing Process

Writing about anxiety while managing anxiety has been its own challenge. Some days, revisiting those moments brings back echoes of the fear. Other days, it's cathartic—a way of processing and understanding what happened.

But every word is worth it if it helps even one person understand that they're not alone, that what they're experiencing has a name and a science behind it, and that there is a path forward.

What's Next?

The book is currently in the editor seeking and review process. While we work toward publication, I'll be sharing insights, reflections, and updates here in this blog. Consider it a companion to the book—a space to explore the themes, dive deeper into the science, and continue the conversation.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Whether you're here because you've experienced anxiety yourself, you know someone who has, or you're simply curious about the intersection of science and personal experience—welcome.

The dawn is coming.